Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents
According to Weenolsen (1988) loss can be characterized as anyone that destroys some aspect of life or self. Agreeing to Worden (2002) grief can be characterized as the caress of someone who has lost an foremost connection or even an attachMent to someone else person. These concepts can be directly connected to the loss of a parent. Losing a parent can be extraordinarily difficult due to the loss of preserve and characteristics which identify the position and role of a parent as being very special (Despelder & Strickland, 2005). The grieving processes can mean distinct changes for those within distinct roles. Older adults who lose their parents do not process or grieve as a child who has lost their parent. I feel that both of these definite roles and experiences are of most importance. Issues of culture also vocalize consistent changes over societies in how one works through or expresses the loss of their loved ones. preserve for children and adults is a very foremost part of the grieving process and should be connected to characteristics of who children and adults are within their roles and how they talk to such loss.
Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents
Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents
Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents
Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents
Due to contemporary technology only about 4 % of children caress the loss of a parent before the age of 18 yrs (Archer, 1999). In comparison, in the late 1700's to early 1800's many children were without parents, making life much more difficult for children (Fox & Quitt, 1980). One cannot discuss the loss of a parent to a child without discussing segMents of attachMent and other developMental theory. Attachment Agreeing to Davies (2004) is a special emotional connection in the middle of two people. Agreeing to Archer (1999), Bowlby indicated that children are able to grieve and mourn when attachment processes become solidified nearby the age of six months to one year of age (Archer, 1999; Worden, 2002).
According to Weenolsen (1988) reactions connected to grief and mourning begin within the early sTAGes of infancy and learning when the child begins to understand their operate over the environment, slowly gaining differentiation and losing their dependency. The mourning of this loss in dependency through the child's capability to gain operate over their environment does manifest crying and seeking out behaviors that train the child to talk in this manner to gain access to their care giver (Weenolson, 1988). This instinctive response will be further utilized while future separations and loss (Weenolsen, 1988). Rando (1988) also claims that Infants mourn when their nurturance is withdrawn and the mum (primarily) must support in re-establishing the nurturing connection, thus reducing separation. These theoretical positions seem to be consistent with Attachment system in that it is the divorce that initiates reactions. Furthermore, one could not understand or perceive divorce if one did not perceive their own capability in controlling environmental circumstances in order to meet ones needs. It seems apparent that with regard to reaction or comprehension the meaning of death by children one would wish sufficient cognitive ability.
The loss of a parent and the response is also due to what Bowlby characterizes as the loss of the child's "safe haven" or "secure base" to search for the world (Davies, 2004). One could reason that this disruption of security would ensue a child's exploration while toddler development, and at times hinder needed environmental interactions. Agreeing to Archer (1999) reactions by children while the mourning process due to the loss of a parent include; pining, preoccupation, yearning, seeking or calling. Agreeing to Littlewood (1992), Bowlby clarified that this reaction to loss as instinctive; and the seeking of the lost object (the parent) although fruitless, it is performed anyway. Although many reactions due to many types of circumstances are chosen by children as a response to emotional distress; these responses are thought about definite to the loss of a parent (Archer, 1999). Furthermore, many of the emotional disturbances can bring with them depressive and anxious symptomatology; as well as sleep disturbances (Archer, 1999).
Children age 2 to 5 yrs. Of age seem to ask many questions with regard to the parental loss (Rando, 1988) They may display regressive behaviors, obsession over questions and circumstances, and may display anxiety and anger toward the deceased (Rando, 1988). There may also lay feelings of guilt and accountability for the loss of the parental figure (Despelder & Strickland, 2005). Some of these reactions were clearly represented in my four year old son Jonathan who lost his grandmother this past year; he seemed to obsess over the funeral and what he had witnessed.
Ages 8 to 12 yrs. May feel helpless and caress reawakened feelings of childlessness (Rando, 1988). Children at this age may seek to repress such feelings, putting them at risk for complex grief reactions (Rando, 1988). This would be consistent with Eric Erickson's sTAGes of psycho-social amelioration in regards to the stage of "industry vs. Inferiority." Agreeing to Longress (2000) and Anderson, Carter & Lowe (1999) there is a push for the child to become "industrious" and inevitable while this stage of development. It seems clear that admitting ones childish and helpless feelings would be difficult while this period.
According to Worden (2002) when a death of a parent occurs in childhood or adolescents the child may not mourn effectively and this may create problems with depression and inabilities to vocalize close relationships with others (p.159). Agreeing to Rando (1988) depression, denial and anger are feelings that seek to counter act the helplessness, dependency and powerlessness that adolescents are feeling. This response seems consistent when examining Erickson's psycho-social stages (Berger, 2001; Longress, 2000; Anderson et. Al., 1999). while adolescents there is a chase to find ones "identity", and the parent is a role modeling figure who can support with guiding and encouraging this process (Berger, 2001; Longress, 2000; Anderson et. Al., 1999). It is understandable how an adolescent may feel powerless, helpless, dependent, and even angry due to the death of their parental figure.
In regards to meaning, Fiorini & Mullen ( record ) clarify that it is very foremost to recap the meanings of grief and loss through a developmental lens. Agreeing to Worden (2002), Murry Bowen clarified that one must understand the role and position of the dying parent within the house system, and the level of adaptive abilities of house members while and after the loss of a parent. I feel, as a social worker it is foremost with this facts to best understand what this systemic loss means to the developing child within the house system. To many children the loss of a parent means a loss of stability, security, nurturing, and affection (Despelder & Strickland, 2005). Agreeing to Worden (2002) there are needed cognitive processes and concepts that must be industrialized before grief can be fully understood by children. The factors are as follows;
1. Understanding time; and what forever means
2. Transformation process
3. Irreversibility concept
4. Causation
5. Concrete Operations
According to Worden (2002)
Figure 1.1
According to Archer (2002) children before the age of 5yrs. Believe that death is reversible. Many young children up to this point vocalize a figurative representation within their minds of the lost parent and do not thoroughly understand the permanency of the condition until cognitive maturation takes place (Despelder & Strickland, 2005; Rando, 1988). This would validate findings by Piaget in regards to object permanence and amelioration of the cognitive processes of children (Berger, 2001). Agreeing to Archer (2002), Speece and Brent indicated that children from the age of 5 to 7yrs. Of age begin to understand the irreversibility of death. Furthermore, Agreeing to Archer (2002) children less than 7 to 8 yrs. Of age however, represented a lack of comprehension with regard to the word "death." This is consistent with Piaget Agreeing to Archer (2002) and Berger (2001), that in order to understand such a understanding as death and irreversibility, ones conceptual understanding must be sufficiently developed.
Up to the age of 9 yrs. Of age however, most children attribute the death of their parent to covering forces, such as God and other (Carey, 1985). Agreeing to Rando (1988) although children 8 to 12 yrs. Of age may have a more clear perception of what death is and understand the irreversibility of the process, they may also refuse to accept it.
Adolescent comprehension and meaning with regard to the death of a parent can be characterized as one of frightening shock and in-depth spiritual examinations. The adolescent is capable of these processes due to what Piaget termed the Formal Operating Stage of amelioration (Longress, 2000; Berger, 2001). A questioning of spirituality and ones mortality can also be connected with Erickson's stages of amelioration in regards to adolescents seeing and comprehension their social and human identities within this stage (Longress, 2000; Berger, 2001; Anderson et. Al., 1999).
According to Littlewood (1992) it was indicated by studies from Anderson (1949), Bunch (1971) and Birtchnell (1975) that adults who lose parents react with tendencies to
have increases regarding:
1. Suicide ideation
2. Rates of suicide
3. Rates of clinical depression
According to Littlewood (1992)
Figure 1.2
Reactions and feelings connected to the loss of a parent as an adult differ Agreeing to ones age (Rando, 1988). Adults in their twenties and thirties continue to view their parents as essential preserve structures, and losing them my feel as if one has been robbed. Feelings of childishness and regression is base and should not be repressed or ignored (Rando, 1988). One may find themselves utilizing their attachments to others such as children, friends, etc. In order to work through the grieving process (Rando, 1988). Agreeing to Rando (1988) it should be understood that the emotional nature of the connection in the middle of the adult and parent will ensue how the adult works through the grieving process. With this facts one could reason that the more an adult is undifferentiated in their identity in regards to the emotional parental relationship; the more strangeness they will have with divorce (McGoldrick, 1998). This also would be consistent with Attachment system and the reactions connected with divorce in regards to utilizing other constructed attachments in the absence of the parental original (Davies, 2004). Agreeing to Littlewood (1992) a study by Sanders (1980) with regard to grieving scales indicated that parents who lose their parents reacted high in two areas:
1. Increased death anxiety
2. Loss of control
According to Littlewood (1992)
Figure 1.3
According to Littlewood (1992) the increased anxiety is the ensue of the adult child feeling as if the are next in the generational line to caress death. The loss of operate represents the loss of an foremost and unique connection in the middle of the adult child and parent that sustained essential preserve features for the child (Littlewood, 1992; Despelder, 2005). From a gender prospective, it is believed Agreeing to Porter & Stone (1995) woman seem to indicate greater problems within the realm of relationships after a essential loss; men record greater work connected problems through out the grieving process.
The meaning of losing our parents can distinct for many adults depending on the significance of the adult child / parent connection (Rando, 1988). The parent has been the most essential and most influential force within the lives of their children; to lose this special relationship, is to lose a great deal in regards to support, the past and childhood connections, and an interpretation of circumstances within the world (Rando, 1988). These changes Agreeing to Rando (1988) & Despelder (2005) may place an adult in the position and process of no longer viewing themselves as a child; thus called the "developmental push." Agreeing to Despelder (2005), Rando (1988) & Littlewood (1992), the loss of the mum is normally more severe for adults than the loss of a father. This facts is based on two original factors:
1. The mum is normally the most nurturing
2. The mum is normally the last parent to caress death
Despelder (2005), Rando (1988) & Littlewood (1992) figure 1.4
Losing a parent within adulthood also means "not having a home" to go back to which can leave a someone feeling alone and frightened (Rando, 1988).
It seems clear that the death of a parent and its meaning can be generally stated as a process that will force the adult child to redefine themselves, their roles, and expectations for their lives and the lives of their house of procreation.
According to Irish, Lundquist and Nelsen (1993) how cultures react and define meaning of death and loss of a parent varies. When examining the behaviors and perceptional meanings of death in discrete societies of the world, differences are clear in the middle of collectivistic / naturalistic cultures and individualistic / modernized cultures (Kalish, 1977). One original discrepancy that can be identified is the blame and reasons for ones death over cultures. Within contemporary societies death can be attributed to internal body failures due to poor Food and condition maintenance (Kalish, 1977). Within our modernized community we may blame the someone or parent for creating internal processes that led to their own deaths; like smoking, poor eating habits, etc. (Kalish, 1977). Within other cultures, especially isolated societies external agents would be to blame for the death of a parent, such as evil spirits or magic (Kalish, 1977).
Other grief differences over cultures comprise examples of muted grief, excessive grief, somatization, and excessive grief (Irish et. Al., 1993). Agreeing to Irish et. Al., (1993) in Bali if one does not remain emotionally calm and mute their grief process after the death of a parent or any loved one, sorcery and magic may place a someone vulnerable to harm. Irish et. Al., (1993) indicates Wikan's (1988) investigation of Egyptian culture expressed excessive grief through constant suffering and bereavement over an extended period of time. Agreeing to Oltjenbruns (1998) a study comparing scores upon the Grief caress account in the middle of Mexican students and Anglo students expressed that Mexican student's results expressed much higher somatization scores, thus indicating that Mexican culture seems to express greater amounts of somatization due to loss. Violent grief and rage seem to be expressed over most cultures; the initiation of this rage or violence seems to be connected to external circumstances; such as other cultures or other habitancy who caused the death of a loved one (Irish et. Al., 1993; Kalish, 1977; Archer, 1999).
According to Rando (1977) if children do not decree their grief; complications can develop, such as; psychosomatic illness, psychological disturbances, adjustment disorders and behavior issues (p. 1999). One strategy Agreeing to Rando (1977) is for a therapist to facilitate the resignation of attachment from the deceased and make attempts to redirect the emotional energies in someone else original figure in the child's life. This process of procedure would comprise identifying original preserve structures that support in sustaining the child's emotional, psychological, and social well being (Littlewood, 1992). preserve structures could be identified as whether formal or informal processes (Littlewood, 1992). It seems to be foremost to apply pro preserve to support a child as well as house before, while and after the death of a essential loved one, such as a parent (Littlewood, 1992). while these processes it would also be useful Agreeing to Littlewood (1992) to apply informal supports; such as house members and others to support with reducing psychological and emotional distress within the child or adults. It would seem that a therapist would be obligated to correlate the roles, expectations and culture of the house and children before initiating any informal or formal interventions.
According to Rando (1977) children may at times act as if they are playing death games or acting out the funeral activities; any way this is their way of coping and taking a break from their grief. Because children also have strangeness expressing their feelings, thoughts, and memories of the lost parent, it is foremost that a therapist support with facilitating emotional expression (Rando, 1977; Despelder, 2005). Ways of gaining a child's attention and assisting them with expressing this emotion is to apply book readings by authors who have written stories that recap to childhood grief (Despelder, 2005). Other strategies a therapist could apply is art therapy and preserve group interventions to express emotional and psychological processes (Despelder, 2005).
Processes and supports for adults who have lost their parents and others are foremost processes that will support adults through the grieving process. When assisting adults in coping with the loss of their parent it is foremost to understand that there are gender differences in coping with loss (Archer, 1999). Agreeing to Archer (1999) women tend to apply greater emotional expression and emotional components to cope with the loss of a parent. Men it is believed, apply question solving strategies throughout their grieving process (Archer, 1999). Agreeing to Gallagher, Lovett, Hanley-Dunn, & Thompson (1989) woman seem to apply cognitive process in order to work through the grieving process, where as men were indicated as utilizing "keeping busy" types of activities. One could reason that a therapist would have to develop therapeutic interventions that would apply these innate way's of coping Agreeing to one's layered identity, such as with gender. With this knowledge, Worden (2002) clarifies that a consultant should primarily seek goals that facilitate acknowledging the reality of the loss, to help the someone with expressed and latent affect, to support with problems connected to readjustment and to support the someone with remembering the deceased while feeling good about enchanting on within their own lives (p. 52).
In concluding, one must understand that with the loss of a parent, the roles and expectations of those left behind will have dramatic ensue upon them and the ways in which a social workers must intervene. It becomes apparent that through out the grieving process for children or adults original considerations must be applied. Gaining best understandings of child and adult reactions and meanings of parental loss, examining the facts through a cultural and gender perspective and utilizing coping and preserve processes to support the bereaved is of great importance.
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Grief & Loss - Children Losing Parents